Friday Favorites #5

I'm getting divorced so this week my favorites will be MY FAVORITE DIVORCES!!! (Hooray...) Nobody take anything that I say in this post as facts. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

#3 ELVIS AND PRISCELLA

Awwwww hot hunk Elvis meets beautiful southern belle Priscella and they get marriedddd. HOW CUTE AND WONDERFUL. Happy forever, right?

NOOOO!!! Priscella couldn't take the circumstances of Elvis' career and all his traveling. WHAT A FUCKING CUNT. And then Elvis got fat and died on the toilet.

DIVORCEDED!!!!!

#2 KIM KARDASHIAN AND KRIS HUMPFUCKIDONTCARE

Stupid slut Kim falls in love. How sweet. He seems like a nice guy! They look soooo happy

WRONG THEY ARE NOT HAPPY!!! Only 72 days married?! EVEN I BEAT THAT! YOU FUCKING RETARDED PISS MONKEY FILTH, I HOPE YOU GET RAPED AND DIE! The marriage ended because Kim can't keep her legs closed for fucking 2 MONTHS and got it on with Kanye West!

DIVORCEDED!!!!

#1 O.J. SIMPSON AND NICOLE BROWN

They are an adorable couple! Met at a diner and fell in love! Had some kids, got a house, LA DI FUCKING DA

THEN BOOM! NICOLE'S DOING DRUGS! EVERYONE HATES EACHOTHER! THEY SET THE BABY ON FIRE! O.J. BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF THE DOG! THEY RAPED AN ASIAN FAMILY AND STOLE THEIR SON, THEN RAISED HIM ON CORN BREAD! THEN HE FUCKING MURDERS HER BECAUSE THIS ALL MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE!!!

DIVORCEDED