Thursday, September 20, 2012

Sex Object

By no means am I inferring with this title that I am the Marilyn Monroe of the comedy community. I am not that conceited. And people wanted to date Marilyn (Bitter woman throw in line!). Let me explain why I am calling myself a "Sex Object"...

Being one of the only consistent female comedians in the Orange County area (that is over 18) really wasn't a good start to me being taken seriously. I was doomed from the beginning. It also didn't help that most of my material is about my sex life, my vagina, and men from my past. Because of what I talk about onstage, I am immediately dismissed as a "whore" or just looked at as "public domain." It's almost like the mindset is, "Hey, you talk about sex a lot so you must be DTF for everyone."  Another thing that doesn't help my case is I had sex with a male comedian. Just another addition to the pile of reasons everyone assumes I am going to fuck them all. These are all horrible assumptions that do not bode true in the slightest. I have had my ass grabbed, men have said vulgar comments to me; I have even had people tell me to my face that since I already fucked a comedian, why won't I fuck them?

I am not my jokes. I am a human being. Sure, my jokes are things that really happened to me and things I think about. Sure, I give off a sexual vibe and talk about sex a lot. I don't mind that. The thing is, no one seems to want to get to know me past that. No one cares about the rest of my life. I have had very deep, personal conversations with my close comedian friends where I found out a lot about their past and who they are as a person. I have these conversations with them because I consider them my best friends and I want to know everything about them. BECAUSE THEY ARE MY CLOSEST FRIENDS AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IN A LEGITIMATE FRIENDSHIP. But the second that I reveal anything more personal than "My vagina blah blah sex story" everyone shuts off and ignores me. No one wants to ask me what my favorite color is or what I do besides comedy. I am the sex object. Someone that they dismiss with, "Oh yeah, I could fuck her. Whatever though." It's not just me either.

The men in this community are incredibly misogynistic. I have heard fellow male comedians call women "fat", "ugly", "a stupid, giant whore".... etc. Anything that is revealed by a woman that isn't completely shallow is immediately turned into a flaw that they have. Say that a certain woman cries a lot, then she is just a stupid bitch that needs to shut up and stop whining. There is no empathy here. There is no REAL caring for others. I have rarely heard the men talk about a woman nicely. And I'm not talking about on a shallow level where they say "Oh, she was nice. She was good-looking."  I'm talking about on a deeper level. Every man seems incredibly damaged by women but being cruel to EVERY woman doesn't make the pain go away. We aren't all evil, some of us are actually really good people. Some of us actually have feelings and they get hurt. You aren't the only ones who have been hurt, A LOT. Maybe if some of you talked to me, you would know that. Go to fucking therapy. It actually helps. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you a better human being.

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