Today a horrible thing happened. Quite a few children will not be going home to their parents tonight. They will not be celebrating Christmas this year. This hurts my heart very much and I don't know how to deal with it. All these children were killed mercilessly and today I can't stop thinking about my Uncle Timmy.
Before I was even born, before most of you were born, my Uncle Timmy died. This was back in the early 70's on Father's day. Timothy Patrick Kelly was 7 years old. He was playing at a friends house and choked to death on a bit of plastic. He was blue before my Grandfather could even get to him. He died for no reason. I never got to know my uncle. I never got to hug him or hear his voice. He was gone far before his time was truly up. He had red hair, like me. Every funeral I have been to has been for someone very old who had a long and happy life. Every funeral I do not cry for them because there is no reason to be sad when someone dies very old. I do cry for Timmy. I visit Timmy's grave every year with my family and we leave him a small Christmas tree every Christmas. We decorate it and dust off his grave. Every year at this time I always go a few graves down and leave something for Buddy as well. He was 5 when he died and no one ever visits him or leaves him anything. I discovered Buddy's grave when I was very young on our many trips to visit Timmy and I cry for Buddy too. I love my Uncle Timmy even though I never got the chance to know him. I wonder if he would have been funny and would have made stupid jokes to cheer me up. I wonder if he would have smelled like something in specific that would have been comforting. I am crying so hard right now it's hard to see.
I don't know why I told you any of this. I don't really have a point. I guess this is the after affects of death. What some girl will feel in 30 years, visiting what would have been her Uncle's grave and crying for never getting to know him. It was no national tragedy when Timmy died, people die every day.... tell your family you love them every chance you get because you never know when they wont be coming home and when they wont be there for Christmas.