Things I have Learned From Being a Real Life Grown-up

The past year has been the most insane of my life. This year I got married, I got divorced, I dealt with epilepsy, I moved out on my own, signed my first lease and my second, started stand-up comedy and realized it was what I have always wanted to do, made some best friends, lost some best friends, met the most amazing man in the world, fell in love, performed at the Improv multiple times, learned some lessons the hard way, went to Hawaii, had a few jobs, got sick, got better, and really changed as a person. I couldn't have asked for a better year though, because with all the bad came an overwhelming amount of good. I may have suffered but I would have never have found comedy or Connor if I hadn't. In fact, I would have never become the person that I am today without it and I really love whatever it is that I am becoming. I have this brilliant idea of what I want to be and it seems like I'm finally becoming that instead of just pretending. Sometimes I still get depressed and self-loathy but who doesn't? Sometimes grown-up life becomes a bit too overwhelming for my liking but that is just when you have to look at the ground and take each step at a time instead of looking ahead at all the scary stuff.

I will share with you some of the things I have learned this year because even though we rarely listen to other's advice and usually find out things the hard way, sometimes it's good to know whats coming :)

1. Bills are more daunting than you could ever think possible.

Moving out I realized that your apartment doesn't just come set up and ready to go. It's up to you to call all the companies and set up all your bills and utilities yourself. You need electricity, gas, internet, TV, phone, etc. You also have to pay these every month (I don't think you guys are dumb and don't know that, but it is a good reminder hahah) Something relieving to know though, is that you can pay a bill late and no one freaks out or ruins your credit. Most companies give you 2 months of lateness before they shut you down and the late fee isn't so bad. Not a GOOD idea to pay too late BUT it is a relief to know if you are a bit late, no one is coming to break your knee caps. You also have to call and notify the companies that you are moving out at certain date and then re-setup your utilities at the new location. Fun times, am I right?!

2. Animals REALLY Aren't Accessories

When I hear people talk about moving out they always want a cat or a dog. A lot of them assume you just buy your furry friend and they love you and happily ever after. It really upsets me because it ends in a lot of pets being given up. Before you move out and buy your animal pal, REAAAALLY think about it. I got my dog a few years ago and learned that yes, they are a great companion for when you miss your family. BUT. But they need constant love and attention. They need to be walked, fed, taken to the vet for shots, etc. I know, most of you are thinking "YEAH YEAH, I already KNOW that ALYSA." but you aren't REALLY thinking about it. I spent 60 bucks on groceries this week and 20 of it was for dog food. When you live on your own at such a young age, that's A LOT. That's gas to see your family one weekend, that's a trip to the movies, that's an electricity bill. Also, my dog got sick and the vet visit was 100 dollars. Not to mention getting her fixed was around 500. I love my dog to death but she IS an expense you need to be ready for. She isn't just something cute to add to your new adult life.

Sidenote: A lot of apartments wont even accept pets and if they do, you have to pay an additional pet deposit that can range from 200-400

3. Laundry Sucks.

Ahhhhhh how I hate the complimentary laundry facilities in apartment complexes. Coin operated, need a key to get in, and all your thieving neighbors have access to it. Maybe I just have bad experiences like my sheets being stolen or nasty notes from neighbors because I'm washing my dog's bed. Being a grown-up you have a few options for this whole laundry business. You can use your apartment's laundry room (if there is one). You can go to the laundromat (They scare me). You can do laundry at your parents house when you visit (YAY MOM AND DAD!). Or, you can hope you are lucky enough to find an apartment with a washer and dryer hook up and enough money to buy the machines. Anyway you roll it, it's a pain. Also, never really thought about it before but now that you are on your own, that laundry gets dirty FAST. One second you have plenty of underwear then, BOOM! You're wearing the same pair of granny panties for a day too long. GROSS.

4. Don't Live With Your Significant Other Until You Are Both Ready

I learned the hard way on this one. Living with a significant other seems like a really good idea because you save on rent, you get to always sleep together, blah blah blah. Living with a lover out of necessity is baaaaad juju. YOU WILL FIGHT AND HATE EACH OTHER. Only live with someone you are dating once you love them and you really want to take that step. Until then, live with friends and don't act like some know-it-all dick that thinks you are special and it will different. You aren't special, it will be the same forever.



This is my first of many Grown-up lessons posts, so don't be sad, more is still to come!!!! :D

Life Post #2

Once again I have failed you, my friends. I have been out of commission for a few months due to having MRSA (Evil flesh-eating cyst disease....) and just generally being really busy with life. I need to stop letting the few stressful things in my life stop me from being a productive human being though. I will continue to try and not let you all down again! Since I am sick with a cold (never-ending sicknesses in this apartment, I swear), here are just some fun pictures from my life.

My birthday dinner with my family

11th Doctor costume for Halloween

Turning 21 at Harbor House. First beer was a Newcastle!

Sending in our contract for our movie

Green room at The Comedy Store

Paid or Pain show at The Comedy Store

This..... this is phenomenal

A wrestling skirt I found while thrifting

Hanging up Christmas lights

Halloween Zombie Walk

Connor with my toilet (Steve)

Westside Comedy Theatre

Making Comedian Friends

It's very hard to follow that last post but here I go...

Since I started comedy I have pretty much alienated every friend I had and replaced them with comedians. It wasn't because they were bad friends and they weren't fun, it was because every night I'm doing comedy and there was no time for others. When you finish a show at 1 AM, regular people are going to sleep or don't want to make the drive to see you but the other comedians are always there and down to go to Denny's or go back to your apartment and drink. The only people I see on a regular basis are comedians. It was just a natural transition.
Something I learned early on is that to have comedians as friends you have to grow a thick skin. A lot of comedians believe that to be a part of the group you have to be able to endure teasing and be able to retaliate too. For the first month or so I had a lot of hurt feelings and resentment but I learned to deal with it and move on. It was hard to get used to but after you do it can actually be fun. Sometimes I still get my feelings hurt and I know other comedians do too but it's all about just being honest when things go to far. You can have a thick skin but we aren't all made out of stone.
Something else I learned is that you will talk about comedy almost constantly. Whenever I hang out with comedians we are either talking about a famous comedian, our most recent set, the community, what shows are coming up.... etc. Sometimes music will come up or movies but it always ends with comedy.
Also, be ready for the puns. Maybe this doesn't happen with every comedian friend but it happens a lot. If I had a nickle for every groan inducing pun that I have heard, I'd have a butt-ton of nickles.

Comedians are like wild cats. They scratch and bite and are skittish and will eat garbage to survive but they are still kitties. I dunno, that was a weird metaphor. Better summary, I wouldn't exchange my comedian friends for any other human being in the world. They are the bees knees.