PHOTO DUMP: Zorak the Chameleon

I've had my chameleon, Zorak, for a couple months now and he is the grumpiest animal I have ever known. He gets in moods and wont let you pick him up sometimes but he does have his nice moments.

Starving Artist Cookbook #1

Being poor sucks. Being poor and hungry sucks even more. I am usually very poor, being an "artistic person" and so I have to find ways to eat that don't involve becoming a prostitute. I am going to share the things I make with you fine folks in hopes that I can save you from becoming a food prostitute too.

This week I made Chicken Tikki Marsala with Tadig. The recipe I made serves 4.

Ingredients:

Chicken Tikki Marsala
2 Chicken Breasts
1 Bottle of Tikki Marsala sauce from Fresh & Easy
2 Tablespoons of Canola Oil

Tadig
2 Cups of Persian Rice
4 Cups of water
2 Tablespoons of Canola Oil

The brand of rice I use

You are going to want to start about and hour and a half before you want to eat. First, plug in your rice cooker (If you don't have one, go get one because they are genius) and add the canola oil first so it covers the bottom. This is to the rice will crust on the bottom, thus the Tadig. Then add the 2 cups of rice and 4 cups of water. Make sure you read your bag of rice and make sure it doesn't require washing. Set your cooker to cook and walk away. Most rice cookers take about a half hour to cook but when making Tadig you have to keep pressing the cook button for an hour and a half so the pan stays hot and crisps the rice on the bottom.

 After about an hour of the rice cooker cooking, it's time to make the chicken. I buy my chicken from Sam's Club in packs of 9 breasts at $10.00. Cheapest I have found chicken. If you don't have a Sam's Club card or a nice, loving father that will take you there.... Fresh & Easy has pretty cheap chicken too.

 You going to want to cut the chicken breasts up into small cubes. My chicken was really thick, so I cut it in half too.

Add your 2 Tablespoons of Canola Oil to a large saucepan and add the chicken. ONLY brown the chicken, make sure to get every side of every piece. Immediately after the chicken is browned, dump your bottle of curry in and turn the heat down so that it can simmer. I love this brand of curry because it's god damn 3 dollars a bottle. AND delicious.

The simmering should only take about 10-12 minutes.....

 Then you're done!! Serve it up!! Delicious and SO EASY TO COOK!!! Also, cheap as shit.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you are confused on anything!!

Have a great Thursday!

Life Post #2

Once again I have failed you, my friends. I have been out of commission for a few months due to having MRSA (Evil flesh-eating cyst disease....) and just generally being really busy with life. I need to stop letting the few stressful things in my life stop me from being a productive human being though. I will continue to try and not let you all down again! Since I am sick with a cold (never-ending sicknesses in this apartment, I swear), here are just some fun pictures from my life.

My birthday dinner with my family

11th Doctor costume for Halloween

Turning 21 at Harbor House. First beer was a Newcastle!

Sending in our contract for our movie

Green room at The Comedy Store

Paid or Pain show at The Comedy Store

This..... this is phenomenal

A wrestling skirt I found while thrifting

Hanging up Christmas lights

Halloween Zombie Walk

Connor with my toilet (Steve)

Westside Comedy Theatre

Getting on Stage When Life Is Bad

As a comedian, I'm sure I'm not the only one who had to go onstage when I was having some distressing things happening in my life. I've seen plenty of friends have a bad day and get up anyway. But when does a bad day become so bad that you DON'T go up? In my opinion, never. Recently I have had some very emotionally difficult things happen in my life. I got divorced, fellow comedians that were at the shows I was at fucked with my heart, my ex-husband landed in the burn ward with 30% of his body covered in third degree burns putting me with him at the hospital almost everyday, he went through a bunch of surgeries, my Noni and Grandma Lou are in the hospital, I can't find a job, bills became overdue, my lease is running up, etc. etc. etc... and on every one of those nights, I went onstage and told jokes anyway. Even the day I asked my husband for a divorce, I immediately went to Long Beach and got onstage. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been perfect. Most of those nights I was crying and had to be convinced by my room mate or I was sitting in the audience, knowing I was up in five and seriously considering telling the host to take me off the list. We all know as comedians though, that you NEED to get onstage, every chance you get, no matter how you feel or if you think you are going to be funny. There is no break from this life. You can't just sit at home and cry for a week every time something bad happens and expect you will get any better at this. I have seen some really good comedians become a part of the back drop of the scene because of this. We all must continue to grow and look at comedy as therapy when we are going through emotional shit. Whenever I feel sad now, I feel MORE inclined to get onstage and release everything bad in me into something amazing. Someone breaks my heart, I write a new five minutes and go find an open mic. There have even been times where that five minutes sucked and it was just horribly angry but it helped me grow and learn what is acceptable and what isn't. It also taught me that when you feel this way and get onstage, you shouldn't just shit on the audience and expect anything either. You need to always try your best. We all get sad, we all have trauma as comedians. You can either let this eat you alive or focus your energy into something great. You are the only person that controls you so don't fuck it up.